I'm ready to give this a go.
"Imagine...looking at something you have never seen before under a microscope or gazing out at the stars through a telescope for the first time. You can look at all of your experiences with the same sense of awe." Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel
8 Beautiful Questions
- Begin with a few minutes sitting with yourself by relaxing your mind and muscles. Here is help to try that.
- Be curious.
- Take an investigative attitude.
- Approach this activity with kindness and warmth.
- Answer every question. (This is about listening to yourself, not about writing well.)
- Get a paper and pencil. Write "1." Answer that question. Write what comes to you. Then "2." Answer. And so on.
1. WHAT IS YOUR DIFFICULTY?
In a few sentences state your difficulty. Admitting is clarifying and motivating.
2. WHAT FEELINGS ARISE?
Feeling our feelings rather than escaping them is a super power. And it takes courage because you're inviting in what is most messing with your mind and heart. So, with gentleness, be with yourself just as you are. Watch your thoughts and feelings, which means notice and accept them with curiosity. (A Feelings List might be helpful.)
3. HOW IS THE DIFFICULTY AFFECTING YOU?
Where is the difficulty showing up in the physical (body, places, things), emotional (feelings), intellectual (mind—beliefs, thoughts, ideas), and ineffable apsects of your being? What is the story you're telling yourself about this problem? How are you coping?
4. WHAT IS YOUR PART IN THE DIFFICULTY?
This question does not mean that you did anything bad (or good). It asks you to reflect on your relationship with or participation in the difficulty. It infers that rather than trying to change someone or the situation, we can work with our reactions: our beliefs, our thoughts, our feelings, our words, and our actions.
5. WHAT ARE YOU LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Be curious about what helps and what hinders. Write about your habits and patterns, realizations.
6. WHAT CAN YOU SHIFT IN YOUR THINKING?
This is the let go question. "Have you ever imagined what it must be like to see the world through someone else's eyes (Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel)?" That's the approach to take when you answer this question. Let yourself play with new perspectives. For example, imagine looking at your difficulty from another point of view, another point in time, or as another person in a similar situation.
7. HOW DO YOU CHOOSE TO WORK WITH YOUR DIFFICULTY?
Think of your chosen response as an intention and experimental action, something new to try that does not escalate your difficulty nor polarize or harm you or others. Then give that response a go. After trying that new way, reflect on it—how did it go; if it went well, resolve to continue on. If not, choose another response.
8. WHAT ARE YOU LEARNING FROM YOUR DIFFICULTY?
This question suggests that we can benefit from all experiences, even difficult ones. Let yourself have a long view of what is happening. What would your 10-years-into-the-future self say to you right now?
One more thing. Consider reading what you wrote to someone you trust who has experience as a confidant. Ask the person to quietly listen without offering advice or solutions. (This will help you better hear yourself and choose how you wish to respond to your problem.) Or, send your response to ME. I consider it a privilege to listen.
Would you like a listener to write back? Send your writing to ME and I'll share it (anonymously) with a LETTER WRITER.
The Questions PDF