DEAR LISTENER,
I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder); I frequently face intrusive thoughts that cause my mind and heart to race. This causes much unwanted stress in my life.
I’m feeling irritated. My back is causing me pain a lot lately and I’m stressed about school at the moment.
My difficulties cause my mind to wander and I often lack the ability to hold attention to basic tasks.
For now I’m just trying to focus on staying happy and positive. I try to surround myself with the things that will make this more achievable, but sometimes it will backfire, but it’s okay because I am always finding new methods.
I feel like I’m too emotionally attached and at the same time I feel like I’m not attached at all. This makes my personal relationships confusing and I feel like I need to learn to be more open and honest. I need to get rid of my wall.
I’ve come a long way in the last year. I struggled with being homeless and learning how to be truly alone. It was a very rough time in my life, but I have come a very long way through I’m still growing and learning every day.
Music has helped me a lot. Performing live on stage is when my mind is the most clear. It’s like getting to escape for a while.
I am able to learn about myself every day. It’s not always positive or good, but OCD causes me to reflect on life in ways many others may not. I am always looking from another point of view to better understand myself and learn more and more as I go.
Sincerely,
Student 69
Female, 18 years old
DEAR ONE,
Damn Girl, you are truly amazing. I love what you wrote. How did you get so wise at 18?
I remember talking to a friend a long time ago. I was very down and feeling like a victim, pretty upset about an event in my past that was running my life and had to be dealt with. Looking back, I can see that I was pretty deep in 'poor me' but at the time I wouldn't have said that. I was in a lot of pain and I resented it.
My friend listened to me for a while and then said, "Well, why not you? Everyone has something, and this is yours."
Whoa. That stopped me in my tracks. But she was right, and it shifted me back to the situation that needed attention and away from my problem about having a problem. It seems like you are already there. I know it is hard. I can hear that. But it's true, everyone has something, and you already know that you work with it, experiment, and become the expert on what works for you.
I hope you can feel proud of yourself. That strength you have developed will take you far. Don't feel like you have to do it all yourself, good help can be hard to find, but when you do find it you can accelerate your understanding. And even though my friend said that thing to me, it was important that she listened first. I knew I wasn't carrying my burden alone. I would have to say that is important too. When I started saying what was going on, I didn't feel as alone and it somehow made room for other things to also be part of my life. (That friend also said, when a horrible loss came into her life, "That is just one part of my life. Somehow I know this isn't the entire thing.")
I wish you continued wisdom on your journey. You are already well on your way.
Jesse
