My parents’ divorce is affecting how I feel and my life.

My parents are divorced, with my mother having been the one requesting it about a year and a half ago. It was for no reason other than her own unhappiness, which is a valid reason, but she is requesting a lot of alimony and is not respectful to me or my father.

So in a sense, she asked for a divorce, took my father’s money (which forced my sister, and eventually me, to take out college loans), and is not treating the situation with respect.

What feelings arise? 

This irritates me because prior to the divorce, my mother was my favorite parent.

Now, my father has all of my respect and my mother has virtually none.

How does your parents’ divorce affect you?

This affects me in the sense that I can no longer speak about my mother in a respectful, loving tone, instead I speak of her in a disappointed, unforgiving tone.

What is your part? 

(No response.)

What are you learning about yourself, others, and the divorce?

I have learned that I cannot trust my mother, mainly due to the fact that in the span of two months she canceled on meeting up with me four times, so I just gave up.

I am learning that parents aren’t perfect, and my view of my mother was largely inaccurate before the divorce.

I realize that marriage and subsequent divorce are very complicated affairs. There is no right answer, and in the end, someone, be it spouse or child, will most likely get hurt.

I do feel the need to say that I did not get a lot out of this activity, and in reality I exaggerated my responses to the questions.

What can you shift or turn around in your thinking or feeling or perspective about this difficulty?

(No response.)

How do you choose to respond or work with your difficulty?

Meet with my mother when I have to, but the rest of the time stay with my father who raised me largely without my mother’s help for the past four years.

What is this difficulty teaching you? 

Think very carefully before getting married.

NOTE: (two weeks after processing difficulty)

Thank you for coming to this class and doing this all, and for helping those who wanted/needed the help. I sincerely hope that although I did not get a lot out of this activity, others did. I will end with one of my favorite things to say to people after speaking to them, because I truly believe it, and try to live by this motto. Have a Wonderful Day!

16 years, male