I like this girl and we have talked a lot, but I am afraid we have become friends. She goes out to parties and constantly talks to a friend of mine over Skype. Although I know she will never get with my friend, I still worry, and with all the alcohol and guys at the parties, I am afraid someone might hurt her. No one knows I like her. She doesn’t know, but she may be able to infer it.
What feelings arise?
I am envious of my friend because she will stop messaging me at times and Skype my friend for hours then message me sorry hours later for not responding. I feel powerless when she goes to parties I am not invited to and constantly around kids who are more popular than me. I don’t feel bad about not going to the parties because they do not know me that well.
How does it affect you?
When I see her at school I feel awkward and I am started to get in fights with my friend although he does not know I like her. I am anxious all the time wondering how it will turn out.
What is your part?
My part is I’m obsessing over something that probably won’t happen. I do need to share better but as a guy who has never really been emotional before, I don’t know what words to use.
What are you learning about yourself, others, the situation?
I am learning I am not as attractive as I thought and cannot get whatever I want.
That I am more emotional than I thought.
That girls talking to a bunch of people makes me want them more.
Meditation relaxes me and lets me think about problems with less emotion.
What can you shift or turn around in your beliefs, thinking, words, or actions?
No response.
How do you choose to respond?
I have really not told anyone because she will find out and she may stop talking to me or I maybe will be made fun of. I have solved the problem, although in the back of my mind I will still like her. I have given up after hearing about how many guys she has done this to. She’s a THOT.
What is the difficulty teaching you?
The problem continues when I could end it because I don’t want to know the answer.
16 years, male
