My organization is falling apart.

What feelings arise? 

I feel fatigued and frustrated.

I feel incapable.

How does it affect you? 

The quality of work I do is degrading and my time is being wasted.

I cope by avoiding work and putting it off. I postpone everything and suffer worse consequences.

I don’t usually flip out. I just feel the onerous stress build up.

What is your part?

I feel as though my focus is being shifted and that I am being distracted as a result of feeling tired.

What are you learning?

My organization is more abstract than it is physical. My ability to produce work efficiently is being compromised. I would like to think my disorganization is more a result of having too much on my plate, but I don’t think that is true as my workflow has not changed much.

I guess my challenge is both organizing things and throwing things away. I enjoy holding onto my belongings/activities/experiences. I do not like throwing those away.

I feel as though I have not yet figured out how I learn. That is to say, I understand that I respond better to visual stimulus etc. but I don’t know how to teach myself. I am treating myself fairly well. I don’t have reason to believe that this problem has a huge effect on my sense of self through my actions. I realize my interactions with other people are changing but I do not yet know if that’s for better or for worse.

I have learned that one aspect of life can be a keystone to keeping the rest of my life.

What can you shift in your perspective?

Maybe taking a step back and reorganizing would help restructure life.

I believe that I should think of reorganizing as a goal rather than a chore or burden.

How will you work with your difficulty?

When I have a moment I will reorganize and try to become organized. My choice now, I believe, is to see achieving this difficulty as another goal so it becomes more attainable. Hopefully after this, the stability of my workflow will increase.

What is your difficulty teaching you?

Pay more attention to my organization. Have it become a more major point. Recognize it as a key part of me.

16 years